Dr. Laura Advice Letter

I received the following in an anonymous email back in '04. I know that sharing it now, two years later, is not an abomination, for God's word is eternal.

The original, unedited text:

Laura Schlesinger is a US radio personality who dispenses advice
to people who call in to her show. Recently she said that, as an
observant orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination
according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any
circumstance. The following response is an open letter to Dr.
Laura, penned by a US resident, which was posted on the
Internet.

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's
law. I have learned a great deal from your show and try to share
that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone
tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply
remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an
abomination - end of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other
elements of God's laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male
and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring
nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans
but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own
Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in
Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a
fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is
in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. The
problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking but most women
take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates
a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is with my
neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I
smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath.
Exodus 35:2. clearly states he should be put to death. Am I
morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to
do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an
abomination - Lev. 11:10 - it is a lesser abomination than
homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there
'degrees' of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God
if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear
reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there
some wiggle-room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the
hair around their temples, even though this is expressly
forbidden by Lev.19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig
makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two
different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing
garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester
blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really
necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town
together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn
them to death at a private family affair, as we do with people
who sleep with their in-laws? - Lev. 20:14.


I know you have studied these things extensively and thus
enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am
confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal
and unchanging.

Your adoring fan,
(name withheld)