Prez Obama Portrait

Axl Rose & Kris Kross

... for a contest here: http://www.regretsy.com/2012/01/24/new-contest/

Adding to the meme.

Feel free to share.

Sexy Parts

Infer what you will about the building trades, but they know how to name stuff! Is there another sector with such healthy interests? And, refreshing sense of humor? Nothing stodgy and self-important about hardware store. I love hardware stores, the old ones with deeply worn, squeaky wood floors, narrow aisles with bins, and the smell of galvanized metal parts. It smells like: what I need, to do what I want to do, is in there. The old town hardware store has the part I need, like a needle in a haystack. A gloriously obscure haystack. But, I know the needle is there. I should have went there first.

Available on shirts and the usual swag on vicevoices or kbilltv (links in sidebar).

George Bush said, what?

George Bush said, what? He said the the thing he regretted most about his presidency was not privatizing Social Security. That was the one thing. Not the trillion-dollar disaster in the middle-east. Not partying it up as New Orleans drowned. Not sitting there like a dummy for 7 minutes in the classroom when informed of 9/11. Not 9/11. What he regretted most was not doing away with SSI. Not nailing that SSI cash cow for the cronies. Because, to The Cronies Everlasting, we are the help; our sole purpose is to provide for them. That the masses pay out and the cronies don't get a cut is abhorrent to them. It's un-American to them.

The state of "the market" when Bush left office was "bearish," to be "correct." It was an unfortunate downturn that nobody could have predicted. Unquote. No malfeasance in the housing bubble, just a bunch of rogue lenders out for their commissions, duping management with their secret, wily shenanigans.

The concept of "shareholders first," with banks, leaves the banks customers as "second," or "last," if you're counting. Weren't banks supposed to be places people let hold their money, for a fee? Yeah, I remember that. That's how it used to be when "We the People" meant us citizens with flesh bodies, as opposed to us citizens with marble bodies. Before the Roberts Court. Scalia's court. Reagan's court. Before Reaganism swept across the land and issued in the End Times.

SSI was created for a reason, because people get old, can't work any more, and run out of money. The anti-SSI never wants old folks to fade away somewhere, that would be rude, they can go to charities. And beg. Forget any dignity from having worked all their lives, they have "no right to my money." Never mind they may have actually fought for the country, "they have no right to what I've earned." (Wave flag here.)

SSI is the most civilized thing about this country. Public school is up there, but it's cut off at college, which is just to price out the riff raff. Universal healthcare would be way civilized, but it would be admitting that Europeans are right, and fuck that shit. Manly man countries don't need nothin' from nobody, and keep your hands off of my stack.

That's why it's so easy to sell "every man for himself," it's way sexier than reality. Reality is that no man ever survived for very long going it absolutely alone. And, America has always been a barn-raising, pull-together, never leave a man down, UNITED states country. Somebody's been watching too many cowboy movies. Hospitals were born in this country in poor houses. This is literal, they were born in poor houses, which were funded by the government.

We have always looked out for one-another, that is our history. The "I don't owe you nothin'" motto is a sad motto for a country. Does it get any less unified than that? Any less civilized? Any more doomed to fail?

Memorial Day

Memorial day is to honor men who fell in battle. One word you hear everywhere on Memorial Day is, "freedom." Most often in the context of "for our freedom." As in, "fighting for our freedom." Ironically, "freedom," on Memorial Day, is most loudly bantered by Americans who are the first to side with the move to take away another freedom because "something has to be done..." The first to get all riled up over the ____ menace. The first to equate civil liberties with Willy Horton. The first to mock and deride the ACLU. The first to speak out against gay marriage and enjoy a good lesbian love show. The first to opine against the legalization of marijuana. The first to want to put an end to this "women's right to choose." The first to vote for the rights of the corporate person. The first to support the war, a war, any war against the Faraway people, who must be evil, and never mind that they have marketable timber, it's that they're evil. They have rape rooms! The first to agree that government is too big in the boardroom, but not big enough in the bedroom. The frightened. The scared. Ironically, the loudest voices against big government are from those who most need to feel it's warm, protective embrace in their immediate life. To protect them from the neighbor's car stereo. To protect them from the weather. To do something about what we have to do something about.

Your freedom comes at the cost of the other guy's. The cost of yours is his. Taking his takes a piece of yours. That's the price every rock singer wonders aloud about. You can't take your neighbors freedom away without taking a little of yours with it. But, I digress...

I choose to honor the fallen, as having fallen in the defense of freedom, by enjoying as much freedom as I can. By making noise whenever I feel any freedom is being taken away. To me, so many have died for me to be free, to accept anything less than freedom is to dishonor them. To stand quiet when I watch another little chunk of freedom chipped away would be to dishonor them. To listen to another sheep accede to another freedom chipped away and not remind them of Jefferson's, "I'd rather suffer the inconveniences of too much liberty than those accompanying too little of it," would be to dishonor them. To see another wreath avatar with the obligatory, "support our troops" caption and not put something down about what the fallen fell for would be to dishonor them.

They fell for us, you and I to be free. To live as free people. Together. For us to enjoy the American way; which in their minds was for us to enjoy prosperity and pursue happiness in our own way. If I'm wrong in that assumption, lemme know. They fell fighting for freedom. That's what they were told, that's what they believed. To accept anybody else's definition of freedom that differs from your own would be to dishonor them. Freedom, was described as "God-given" in our founders' writings. I take that to mean that we know what it means, inherently. It can't be quantified. We can agree that it "ends at the other guy's nose," and that's where it should end.

And, they fought for our prosperity. For the "American way of life." Which again, unless I'm mistaken, was in the soldier's mind as a home, car, job... a secure path to the end.

Our fallen soldiers died for us have the life that TV showed us we had. Or, at least, a little better than the life our family had, that we grew up in. For us who live on to sleep with any credibility, it's on us to hold onto what they died for us to have. It's the least we can do.

The Christian Ownership Society, v1.0

The Crusades. The Inquisition. The Salem Witch Trials. Jesus, dude, you let your message get out of hand.

The enlightened vision you laid out for us has been perverted. Your ambassadors have taken the hammer over the wine.

Give me super-powers and I'll fix this shit.

Amen.

Love Is a Piano

Love hits you like a ton of bricks that fell from the sky while you were just passing by.

Bead Catcher

She's super, she's the Bead Catcher of Bourbon Street. The arrives every Mardi Gras. Fat Tuesday. The Quarter. Her rack is unmatched in it's glory. Her rack is Gorgon; like Medusa, her rack has the power to turn men to stone, without the snake hair. Without being heinously hideous. The opposite. Okay, it doesn't literally turn men to stone, but rivets them. And, compelled beyond their control to bestow the best and biggest beads upon her. The BCofBS always wins. She is the Queen of Mardi Gras.

Leaping Skeleton Warrior

Happy with how this came out.

Mortality

About 5 years or so ago it hit me that I was going to die. Yes, we all know we're going to die. But, for most of our lives it's an abstract concept. Unreal. For most of our lives we think death is way off in the unforeseeable future. But, that day, 5 years ago, it hit me that I was going to die, and it was real, and it would come at a time of it's reckoning, not mine.

At the time, I was at the cusp of young and old. Perhaps it's the milestone of young and old; the acknowledgment of the inevitable. The inevitable is always there, but our acknowledgment of it is incremental. As the clock ticks, the weight of it descends. We dance beneath it; at first oblivious, then defiant, then negotiating. First, we offer up our vices, as sacrifice, for time. Then our diet.

A rambling

My Thanksgiving day was a usual day, as usual happens to be lately. Cassie wakes me up to let her out, I change the channel to something even more boring, so I can go back to sleep. I can't go back to sleep, get up, get on the computer, check email, facebook, sales, in that order. Then go poo. Then check email, facebook and sales again, again, in that order. Then, I try in vain to remember the brilliant t-shirt idea I was certain was so brilliant I could never forget it so put off writing down when Cassie woke me up to let her out. It's right there, but I cannot grasp it. I go back to the last thing I was working on, finish it and put it up on some shirts. Coffee should be ready. I think I should have a cigarette, but am now a non-smoker, I remind myself. I entertain the notion that non-smokers suck. Drink my coffee, with purpose. The purpose of coffee being a substitute for the vaporous comfort I have lived my life in absolute comfort with up until this ridiculous notion of it being necessary to quit smoking slipped in. Seriously, I like the being able to move around without becoming out of breath and on the brink of a heart attack, but seriously, I'm happiest and living life to the fullest when I'm intellectully stimulated and engaged, so who needs to be able to move around physically? Yes, this is a reaction to being home alone, with my Hugstable afar. The lonliness a tangible weight that lives in the shadows beyond the glow of my lamp. Sneaking in as I focus this way and that. Always attached to me at some point beyond my peripheral vision. But, I digress.

Rugged Outdoorsmen

"It's not a gang, it's a loose association of rugged outdoorsmen." Grungy lettering with motorcycle graphic, b/w. Available on t-shirts & gifts, here and here.

Skullusion

Optical illusion with two girls holding pieces of cloth and two sidewalks with seated babies, forming a pirate skull and crossbones. Available on t-shirts and gift items here and here.

Max Fuckus

In The Beginning

Genesis 1

The Beginning

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.

Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.

And God said, "Let there be light," and there was light.

God saw that the light was good, and He separated the light from the darkness.

So, that the Heavens and the Earth were created before there was light raises questions. Why did He wait, and create the Heavens and Earth in the darkness? To lend a more challenging degree-of-difficulty? So it would be more impressive? Have more "bang" when considered? I've heard of that theory. Was one hand tied behind His back, as well? Or, is that still available for the next God to use to one-up Him, and be that much more awesome? Perhaps, in some other plane it is already so! Did He work in the darkness to not be hindered by aesthetics; to not get hung up on, and slowed down by appearances? Or, because it was more fun to be surprised when the light came on? Or, He just hadn't thought of it yet? It was all a spur-of-the-moment thing? No planning? Just had the idea and ran with it? Got 'er done in a week? When you're inspired it goes like that. I know, I'm an artist.

And, when He let there be light and saw what He'd wrought, He saw that it was good. It was the same throughout creation; each thing He made came out good enough on the first try. When you're hot on a home project it goes like that. I know, I'm a man.

And, you know He's a man, because when the Heavens and Earth were created and the light came on, a woman would've rearranged everything, not just said, "It is good," and moved on to the next phase. She'd've tried moving the land and water around to a more pleasing arrangement. The colors would've been all wrong, too. Instead of seeing that "it was good," it would've been, "okay for now." And then she'd've made the fruit on the trees hang lower; everything would be reachable, without a ladder, or a tall man. Earth would be cleaner too, with a lot less dirt to track in across the nice clean floor. Or, non-stick dirt. And more kid-safe! Softer rocks. Flame-retardant leaves. No pointy sticks! No tar-pits! No quicksand. Mice and rats? No. Effing. Way.

But, seriously, WTF? Why work in the dark when you could've let there be light first? Seems like a pretty fundamental flaw in planning. And, if light was an idea that came 3rd, what was the plan to know it all without light? To touch and feel the universe? I'm not sure when sound was installed, or especially taste, but I'm glad light was thought up before my lifetime! Great big fingers groping around my pitch-black 1/4 acre of Paradise, and the occasional, colossal tongue getting a taste of what it is to be human? Not cool, G! It sounds haphazard, more "stumbling forth" than "intelligent design."