Monday, January 26, 2009

Doggy Style, "The Coed Look"


We got the girl at about 6 mos, from a rescue about 200 miles away, and 200 miles back, for $200. She's a great dog; non-destructive, no puddles or piles in the house, growls more than barks, can "go lay down" quietly for an hour in between romps in the yard.

Dobermans aren't easy to find in this corner of the world. We keep a constant eye out for a companion for her, and as it's been, we'd have to go farther than the 200 miles we went to get her. Which we will, when we're absolutely ready, which we aren't now, but we keep a finger on the pulse anyway. I more than my o'lady. My o'lady's fully in the maternal mode of providing nourishment and comfort and that sort of thing. I'm more in touch with the girl's spiritual needs. I take her on walks. I slap-box with her. She needs a playmate. But, she needs more of a playmate than my old bones can be. The neighbors have a couple of dogs, we stop by on our round-the-block walks, and she lights up. "At last! Friends who can run as fast me!" Their house is her favorite place to go.

We still wonder why she was dropped off in the night at the rescue people's home, at 6 mos. She's such a great dog. One reason may be that she is on the small size for a Doberman, at about 55 lbs, at 1.5 yrs old. -Both the weight and age are guesses, as the rescue people couldn't pinpoint exactly how old she was when she was dropped off, and my o'lady isn't a fan of bathroom scales... lately...

Another reason might be that her tail was cropped a knuckle or two too short. See exhibit "B" below.
But, that's just fine with me. She looks great in a tight sweater. Great ass. Check it out. Perfectly symmetrical spiral tan-on-black booty-spot. -Sorry fellas, she's been "fixed!" ;) And, I don't like the kennel-club-accepted tail-crop-length anyway, it looks like a penis. A penis that makes me insanely jealous. Imagine if you had a wag-able penis. King of the world. I hate those Doberman tails. Hers is perfect. Not a super-boner running around wagging. In your face. A "Hedwig." An angry inch. Nothing to be envious of. Perfect. We don't have that as an issue. No walls. Our relationship is pure. Man and dog. That's all there is to it, nothing here to see, keep it moving, folks.

Insert irrelevant sentence here, to insulate the following. Didn't keep it moving, eh? Okay, seriously, I don't now where else to take this. We went through innocent, red-blooded dog bonding to beastial feelings to penises to low-brow sub-pop-culture references in a relatively short time. All to try and raise a smirk. I see no other ending, than a train wreck, from here. The End.

-Pedro del Amor de las Perras

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