Veep Accidentally Beats Crap Out Of Old Friend

Harry "Pepper" Whittington was rushed to the hospital for the second time in as many weeks, after he had the crap accidentally beaten out of him by Vice President Dick Cheney in a weekend driveway bbq incident. Eyewitness, Katharine Armstrong, stated that it was Whittington's fault for not announcing his presence as he approached the party from the side. "He got peppered pretty good," said Armstrong, "especially after Dick got him on the ground, and accidentally pummeled him with lefts and rights."

Whittington is expected to hold a formal apology conference later in the week, if he recovers. Aked why VP Cheney failed to notify the press of the incident for 26 hours, he replied, "There was no beer, just chickens and slaw." Ms. Armstrong confirmed the VP's claim, stating, "No beer, just chickens."