VP Accidentally Poked Man With Sharp Stick

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In October of 2005, on a nature hike with a few close friends, VP Dick Cheney had accidentally poked Texas Lawyer, Harry Whittington, with a sharp stick, several times. Mr. Whittington suffered a severed artery in the mishap and was immediately rushed to a secure and undisclosed medical facility. Mr. Cheney refused to comment on why the incident had not been reported, but did insist there "was no beer" involved. Mr. Whittington apologized for waiting so long to apologize to Mr. Cheney, for the grief he had suffered in silence.