Sunday, October 22, 2006

Unconditional Love Ramble


True Love may be unconditional, but ease, comfort and grace are very conditional. Ease, comfort and grace flow from unconditional acceptance. Judgment-free interest in what one has to say. Actually listening. Wanting to listen.

Love and grace are from the same root, but different things. I love few, but have ease, comfort and grace with fewer.

I always hope the few will grow. I expect we all do. But, I hope it will only grow to a degree. My capacity for unconditional is limited. Why? Because loving everybody kind of diminishes the concept. Love means special. If we loved everybody, it could only be superficial. I give everybody the benefit-of-the-doubt respect, until proven unworthy, or worthy of love.

Love is special.

Love is love, and beautiful, but grace is transcendental. Grace is the expression of love.

Love is unconditional, but the expression of love is conditional, and treasured above all.

Love expression is conditional on reciprocities. It is conditional on mutual shared interest.

In one-another, one another's interests, and something wholly different and one's own, and allowing that in the other.

The expression of love is conditional.

On the expression of love.

One takes a hopeful chance, the other flings open its vault, and a snowballing of love happens., or doesn't.

The expression of love can't be lied to. It lives in us, but outside of us. It has its own mind. We can be fooled, but it can't. It is connected to the string. The string only transmits what's real. The false may cry real tears, but the string will not carry them.

The conditions of love are not negotiable. They are not decisions made. They are like gravity; they will make you fall down. Or make you rise up, if they are pure and lighter than air. They are from the thing that makes you cry when you know you are rational and logical and above all that. The thing that instantly nullifies your rational self-image. That thing. You know that thing. You've broken down. You know it.

We know it's real. It exists.

I used to think it was hormones. That chemical instinct that makes teen elk ram horns in the clearing to impress the elk chicks. That thing that makes young animals live for finding a mate above all else. And you know you do or did. Your life was/is primarily centered around finding and possessing a mate. You animal.

You may be in the band, but it's not to make music, first. First, it's to ram horns with the herd for mating rights. You animal, you. You are an animal. As enlightened as you are, you cannot NOT butt horns for mating rights with the herd. Your rational mind cannot override this. Ever.

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And then there's the God component.

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God may love us better than the furry animals, but if I was God, I don't know. I like your abstract thoughts, but since I'm not God I don't know how abstract a furry animal's thoughts may be. I'll venture a guess and assume their thoughts are more _basic_... more primal... closer to the essence, unclouded with homo-sapiens duplicity, truer. If I were God, and I'd created life for the sensory experience, there are many species that I might enjoy more than humans.

A common string among religions is the notion that God dwells in us all. That He is in us. That He is in us, is with us through everything, and knows our thoughts as we think them.

If this is so, why? Why are we? Why did God make us and dwelleth then within us?

Because He likes it.

He would therefore be in all the sensate creatures He created. Because he likes it.

Christians say it's to test us. He created us from scratch and is testing us here. We either pass, or fail. I think you know where the pass-fail grading system directs us. This seems flawed to me.

God can't be omnipotent and threatened by Satan. Threatened and omnipotent are mutually exclusive. He didn't create us for the draft.

He created us because he likes it. He is sensate. He is curious, He likes surprises. He gave us free will to choose roads He might not have. So, it is our responsibility to God to take the road less travelled. He gets enough of the travelled road. He does not gain new experiences from sheep. We are more expendable as individuals the more we forsake our individuality. To God. I think.

Sorry, the contemporary Christian explanation of existence falls short of scrutiny. Or is it the loud exploitation of Christianity that turns me so off?

I expect the vast majority to feel as I do. That the Order of Things, God, is unknowable by our generation... x10 down the road. We can only try to live within Its rules, and reap the rewards of swimming with the current, and apply scientific method to what new ideas arise, to work our way forward.

To go for unconditional grace, hope for unconditional love, and allow what's not ours to pass. To pass with our empathy, knowing we all seek the same thing, but knowing love exists in pockets, and knowing those pockets are all conected by a different string to the same thing.

Not finished.

3 Comments:

Blogger C-dell said...

Great to see you back KB. I have wondering if you were still writing. This is a great post to return on make you think about the people in our lives who we really love and who we just care about. it is a confusing thing at times, but once you get it figured out you see that it was all worth it.

8:53 AM  
Blogger kb said...

Great to have you checking in, C-dell.

All the politics drained me. Had to let it go for a while, too much introspection and exprospection, too much spection makes life too important. Too heavy. Politics is important, for sure, but for an individual trying to make a point in the vast sea of cacaphonous points it's slamming your head against a wall.

As beautiful a thing as the Constitution and Bill of Rights is, this country has evolved into a despicable thing. Politics is a sport. The people are lead to choose a side, and ideas be damned, it's our team vs. theirs.

I expect this will change, in time. The extremism we're driven to in response to the extremists on the other team... I don't know... I'm wishing there were some other teams in the league. One with a love for the founding principles, that all men were created equal, that caring for the welfare of others isn't a "commie" cause. Maybe I'll actually ditch the premise of "a vote for Nader is 1/2 a vote for Bush," and vote green this time. The Republocrats are too cozy. Too secure. Like it's a job. No principles. No heart, on either side.

Anyway, that you check in and leave a comment warms my heart. Thanks.

I'm off to see what you've been writing.

9:43 PM  
Blogger C-dell said...

KB The Farrakhan Thing is a coversation me and remorj were having on his site about a post he did and he just brought it over to my blog. Thanks for all the comments.

8:39 AM  

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