Deadly Koi Herpes Adds to Bird Flu Concern

-Dr. Neil Sporin, VV staff Medical Correspondent

"Mad Cow, Swine Flu, Bird Flu, Monkey Mumps, what next?" you ask.
The Centers for Disease Control has announced an outbreak of Koi Herpes Symplex II on North America's west coast. " That we'd have to move to orange alert," said Dr. Chaim Knotts-Lyon of the CDC, "considering how the disease is spread... well, we're really quite surprised." Identified as a source of the outbreak, Golden State Koi and Water Gardens is the defendant in a case filed in an Alameda, Ca court. The plaintiff, Sailor Moon, alleges the defendants failed to warn her that the fish (shown above) was infected with the communicable disease. Ms. Moon is suing for lost wages, in that she's had to "kiss goodbye" her job with the popular animated series named for her. She also claims emotional distress, charging that because of the "grossness" of her lower lip, her love, Sailor Pluto, has broken up with her to go with Sailor Mars instead.