Great Wall of Chino Completed

-Cardio Vasquez, VV staff Mexicologist

In a surprise conciliatory gesture, the White House announced that the US will disband the Border Patrol Agency and allow citizens to travel freely between the American-Mexican border. "Immigrants will no longer be prosecuted as felons, but instead be welcomed with open arms," stated James Chase, leader of The Minute Men division of the INS. "However, for insurance reasons, scaling or tunneling beneath the Great Wall of Chino is prohibited, and remains a felony. The newly formed Great Wall of Friendship Administration has beefed up security, and Wall Patrol Agents are fully authorized to shoot offenders surviving the 10,000 amp razor wire at the top of the wall on sight. This is purely a cost-benefit procedure, to save the American taxpayer by keeping insurance premiums on the Wall as low as possible." Plans for installing a door in the Wall have stalled, with congress divided on whether to go with the standard 36" Dutch model backed by Republicans, or the more liberal, pair-of-French doors proposed by the Democrats. VP Dick Cheney was away at a secure, undisclosed location and unable to cast the deciding vote, so it appears that the issue will remain undecided until Congress is back in session from summer break.